Dictionary Stories

Very short stories composed of example sentences from various dictionaries.

In the Beginning

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth, artisanal cheeses, the bleakness of winter, morse code, deviled eggs, erogenous zones, the feeling of fullness you acquire from eating brown rice, gendered occupations, healthy competition, copyright infringement, cherries jubilee, kicky high-heeled boots, lite beer, misshapen fruit, nonsense poetry, oral hygiene, postmodernist theory, quaint country cottages, roller hockey, scented soap, acid trips, unbridled lust, vegetative spores, whitewater rafting, xenophobia, young love, and zippy new sedans. Then he dried up and Phil couldn’t get another word out of him. 

Madame Eva

“You'll never amount to anything.” Her voice was flat and emotionless.

They sat looking at each other without speaking. He slapped down a fiver. She considered him coolly for a moment. Madame Eva bent once more over the crystal ball. Her eyes dilated in the dark. She sat back and exhaled deeply. 

“You'll get used to it.”

My True Love Gave to Me

Twelve labours of Hercules,
Eleven gallons of diesel,
Ten head of cattle,
Nine breeding pairs of birds, 
Eight Mbytes of memory,
Six months of unclouded happiness,
Five venturous young men,
Four slices of bread, 
Three spoons of sugar, 
Two fundamentally different concepts of democracy, 
And a sin in the eyes of God.

Barbara

The whole world seemed to be sleeping, apart from Barbara. She found herself in bed in a strange place—a research station in the rain forest, a bird sanctuaryabandoning herself to moony fantasies: A research biologist with impeccable credentials was fingered for team leader, and she had been deputed to look after him while Clarissa was away. He had charm, good looks, and an amusing insouciance; she had a thing about men who wore glasses, men of culture, men with passions unruled. She had had plenty of flirtations—now she had fallen in love. Color bloomed in her cheeks. He leaned forward to take her hand. She looked down, terrified that he would read fear on her face—

A sudden sound in the doorway startled her. A shiver shook her slim frame. She lodged this idea in the back of her mind for future reference.

What He Is

He’s a deeply sick man from whom society needs to be protected. He’s an egotistical, mean-spirited, abusive man. He’s a lying, cheating, snake in the grass. He’s a treacherous brain-damaged old vulture. He’s emerged as a racist and an anti-feminist. He’s a shameless publicity seeker. He’s arrogant and opinionated. He’s all talk. He’s a bumbling fool. He’s a real character. He’s a bit of a womanizer. He’s by no means the only senior politician who has mislaid his moral compass. He’s being unfairly ganged up on. He’s as devious as a politician needs to be. He’s a good guy at heart. He’s a very strong leader, very presidential in his performance. He’s very much a man of the people. After a while, you get used to it.

Floor Exercise

1. Sit on the floor, and spread your legs.
2. Keeping your mouth closed, breathe in through your nostrils. Try to keep calm.
3. Lie down and bring your knees up toward your chest.
4. Lying flat on your back, twist your body onto one side. Keep still.
5. Keep your knees slightly bent, and keep your head up. Keep still.
6. Just stop talking and listen to me.
7. Stand up straight with both arms at your sides.
8. Stop crying and pull yourself together. 
9. Repeat this exercise five times a week.
10. Why don’t you go upstairs and lie down? 

News — A New Site! A New Look! A New Hope!

Dictionary Stories has that distinctive New Website Smell, and much more besides. Find out more about what you’re looking at.  Read more

Pasadena, 11pm

We met by accident at a party in Los Angeles. The music was so loud that I had to strain to hear what she was saying. She was a tall, dark woman, with an unusual face—a work of art. She wore pink lipstick. She wore a cream silk shirt. She wore a blue skirt with white stripes. I was sure I’d seen her before.

We went down some steps into the garden, and she put some dry sticks on the fire. There was something strange about the way she spoke. She told me her husband was dead, that she was from a traditional Jewish family. She gazed into the fire. The colour suddenly faded from her cheeks.

“Have you ever fired a gun before?”

I stared at her blankly.

“How happy are you with regard to your work?” 

Her bracelets jingled on her thin wrist. We looked at each other in silence. She gave a little smile.

“You really are serious about this, aren’t you?”

She threw a bucket of water on the fire.

“You can reach me at this phone number.”

Harry Potter and the Once-In-A-Lifetime Business Opportunity in Southern California

I was doing the ironing when he called—the actor Daniel Radcliffe who plays the hero in the Harry Potter films. He asked me to go to California with him. He plans to plant fruit trees. It was a very difficult decision to make, but my job was making me miserable, and citrus fruits are a good source of vitamin C.

Spy vs. Spy vs. Spy vs. Spy

The double life of a freelance secret agent? My nerves are shot. This is all getting too deep for me. At about ten at night, I got a call. A cold, dead voice. He told me my telephones were tapped and I was being watched—they see me as a traitor, a sellout to the enemy.

     I never thought Stash would rat on me. Times have changed. He had seen which way the wind was blowing. How cold and calculating he was. Little did he know what wheels he was putting into motion.

     Trusting to the cover of night, I ventured out. I went to see Caroline, but nobody was at home. The garden was overgrown and deserted. Mary vanished without a trace. Lizzie seemed to vanish into thin air, as if her presence were merely notional. I should never have trusted her.

     My own friends sold me down the river. A cabal of dissidents. A pack of wolves baying at the moon. It looked like curtains for me.

Underlined words are those responsible for each example sentence.